I want to do this because I believe that mothers need to do a better job when it comes to better speech (self-talk) and hearing (listening) when it comes to themselves. I know this because I am a mother raising a child with hearing loss.
When you are in the middle of raising a child with hearing loss, it is so easy to get stuck in a pattern of negative self-talk, a pattern of blame, a pattern of frustration. It is so easy to slip into battle mode at all times – always ready to fight, to defend, to fix.
And, while, yes, your child does need you as their advocate, they also need you to be yourself. This is the part that often gets lost. You are so busy speaking up for the needs of your child that you forget to speak up for the needs of yourself.
Looking after yourself needs to go beyond a day or a weekend. There has to be some time every day when you are focused solely on what you need to do to help bring some balance and focus into your life.
It doesn’t have to be anything epic, but it does have to be something that you do for yourself. It can be a walk around the block at the end of the day when your partner comes home. It can be about meditating in your before you transition back into your household after a day at the office. It can be listening to your favorite songs as you lay on the floor while your child naps. It can be about the stillness in the morning when you are the first to wake and your steal some time to read a book. It can be about the noisiness of your favorite coffee shop as you sit and journal.
“By focusing on your own needs, you create the ability to focus much more strongly and effectively on everyone else’s needs,” says Anne Ford, author of A Special Mother: Getting Through the Early Days of a Child’s Diagnosis of Learning Disabilities and Related Disorders.
Ms. Ford suggests, “That in the cause of ensuring that your child gets the best help possible, taking care of yourself should be considered as important as attending a school meeting or taking your child to the pediatrician”.
We all know the story of putting on our own oxygen mask before we help our child with theirs. But, how many of us really listen to the deeper meaning. That we can’t effectively help our children unless we effectively look after ourselves first.
This month take the time to commit to doing something for yourself, and then post a comment letting others know what that is. The more people you tell about your commitment the more likely you are to stick with it.
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